Rashid
nau-vaarid
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« on: January 22, 2008, 05:24:51 PM » |
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AURAT KI IZZAT
MAHAM KE NAM
Adab ,
Mujh mein eik kharabi c he.Mein aurat ki buhut izzat karta hon.Aj jab aurat har kam mein mard ke shana bashana he tu ye bat ajeeb maloom hoti he ke koi us ki izzat kare.Magar aurat kitni he taraqi keyon na karle,wo andar se buhut kamzoor hoti he.Aise jumle jo mard nazarandaz kardete hain aurat ke dil ko Thase pohnchate hain.
Zara socheye tu ka is maashre mein,jahan mard ko apni izzat ki hifazat mein gali dena parnti he, eik aurat kis tarah apni izzat sanbhale?Wo na tu gali de sakti he na hata pai karsakti he.Tu us ki ye kamzoori ham se ye taqaza karte he ke ham us ki izat karein.Ab nehate admi par war karna kahan ki mardangi he?
Mein clichéd jumle nahi bolta ke aurat Man he behan he.Na mein kisi se behas karma chahta hon ke kon sahi tha kon ghalat.Is leye mein sirf ye kuch points paste kar raha hon ke How to respect women.
Ye thread ap ke nam he,Maham,take ap bhi zaroor is bare mein kuch kahin aur is tarah khamooshi se forum na chorein.
1. Respecting Women
"Politeness costs nothing, and gains everything." -- Lady Mary Montague
Sobering times
It's incredibly disheartening to both read and hear about disrespect and abuse to girls and women on any level: locally or internationally, whether physical, emotional, sexual--or any combination thereof. From tactless and demeaning comments to slavery and mutilation.
All over the world, millions of girls and women suffer a tremendous amount of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse and pain. Many girls suffer terrible things growing up at the hands of their own family members or relatives, and some women feel trapped and put up with abusive husbands in the confines of their own home. The depth of pain, fear, and hopelessness they must feel is unimaginable. The vast majority of abuse is caused by men or societies in which girls and women are almost treated like animals, and yet while it's a generalization to say that all men are perverse or degenerate, the fear and suspicion of that potential remains, and the evidences of it naturally take many forms. In this light, I struggle with even the association and stigma in being a man, and all the negatives that are part of it.
So what can I do about it? While I cannot fix the world, I can ensure that I respond with respect and sensitivity to women by listening, encouraging, and complimenting them every chance I get. It is my hope that something in these pages encourages others to do the same. Respect should always be mutual, but all too often it seems women are not esteemed or treated with the tact and kindness they deserve..
Following are attitudes and actions that I believe are essential to respecting women.
Tact and manners
Simply put, think before you speak, and ask yourself how she might feel before you say it. Guard her privacy--don't share anything about her that might embarrass or hurt her. Like the old addage states, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, but look first for things you can genuinely compliment her on, being careful they're said and received in context. The more thoughtful and sincere your words, the easier this will be.
When it comes to manners, open the door for her, or hold it open a few seconds longer if a lady is right behind you. Let her go first or pass in front of you. Ask her if she would like a refill if her glass is empty. Set or clear the table, and always pay for her meal. Ask her what she likes and dislikes. Chivalry is evidenced by practical thoughtfulness, such as those who pick up and drop off their wives or girlfriends in front of buildings when it's cold or raining.
Honor
Has it ever bothered you to see someone being ridiculed or made fun of because of their gender? Or perhaps when just "joking" a husband has made fun of his wife? Disparaging jokes or snide comments can quickly hurt and even destroy a loving relationship. The saying "often the truth is spoken in jest" is very evident through body language and tone of voice. While men are sometimes the brunt of this, on too many occasions I have witnessed women being unjustifiably ridiculed for something that is a part of who they are as women. All too often men are quick to judge without first making (or at least wanting to make) an effort to understand how they think and feel. The different attributes and characteristics in women should never be used as rationale for tactless and demeaning comments from men.
"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." -- Benjamin Franklin
Listen
It's a little-known fact that men interrupt women more often in conversation, and not the other way round as some might think. For many people (myself included), listening is a difficult skill to acquire, but it's possible when the right motivation is there--after all, we appreciate talking with someone who listens to what we're saying. I have a long way to go, as it's all too easy to interject my comments and questions, or second-guess what she wants to say.
Understand
If you're not sure what she may be thinking, or what her motives might be, ask--being sure that your tone of voice and response to her are not out of anger or frustration, but sincere and genuinely wanting to understand. I'm convinced that there is a reason for everything--whether influenced by personality or driven by hormones (which we are all susceptible to). Knowing the reason for an attitude, action, or feeling is a big step in understanding, and I believe can resolve many conflicts. We don't always need to see things the same way, as long as we understand why we see them the way we do.
Some argue that women are weak because they express their emotions--which I do not agree with. Not only is this opinion rude, but women's expression of emotion is both natural and beneficial. Medically, repression of emotion and feelings over time can cause both psychological and physical damage. In addition, men who think they are "strong" by not showing emotion are in fact demonstrating pride and engrained fear of being shamed by others for not living up to perceived expectations of them. Granted, it's much easier said than done, but in the long run, bottling up emotions which are real, and deep, does nothing but cause pain.
Admire
"If God made anything more beautiful than a woman, He kept it for Himself." -- Jerry Lewis
Since I was a boy, I have admired girls and women a great deal. I believe God made women to have, and be, everything a man lacks and longs for--emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually. They are to be deeply appreciated, envied, and lauded; not debased, cheapened, or ridiculed. Solomon described the intricate beauty he saw in the woman he loved:
Song of Solomon 7:1-9 (NKJV) "How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O prince's daughter! The curves of your thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a skillful workman. Your navel is a rounded goblet; it lacks no blended beverage. Your waist is a heap of wheat set about with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower, your eyes like the pools in Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon which looks toward Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel, and the hair of your head is like purple; a king is held captive by your tresses. How fair and how pleasant you are, O love, with your delights! This stature of yours is like a palm tree, and your breasts like its clusters. I said, "I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of its branches." Let now your breasts be like clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and the roof of your mouth like the best wine."
Admiration stems from a myriad of elements: personality and physical appearance/attributes being the ones that quickly come to mind. From head to toe, there is a vast wonder and beauty about women, and I believe that man is a caretaker of something much better and greater than himself. Emotionally, women express their feelings and are often in touch with themselves and others. Mentally, they have many skills and abilities that parallel and often exceed men. Physically, they possess a very powerful sensuality and aesthetic beauty. Sexually, their differences are nothing short of breathtaking. God has truly blessed women in the way they are made--every part of them is unique and desirable in its own way. In her book For Women Only (p. 100), Shaunti Feldhahn notes one man's words that echo this:
"She doesn't understand how even her occasional dismissals make me feel less desirable. I can't resist her. I wish that I, too, were irresistible. She says I am. But her ability to say no so easily makes it hard to believe."
While we need to be careful not to elevate women, we can admire and appreciate the incredibly beautiful way in which God has made them.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows...
~ Author unknown
No one's perfect
Without question, attitude and personality are what ultimately "make or break" a person. While I highly esteem women, I want to be careful to recognize that like any of us, they are only human. Perhaps the greatest demonstration of respect is through enduring forgiveness and patience with them in the midst of mistakes, and the honesty to admit when we're wrong in return
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